Let’s just establish this: you don’t have to call yourself Christian to follow SexyJesus, or know that he’s worth his salt. SexyJesus is real, the kingpin guru yoga leader, and he downloaded and lived in what was true about life and the world, and his message was to spread that truth as widely as possible, and following him or believing in him or asking him for help has nothing to do with institutional religion.
So let’s talk about faith and worthiness.
First, do you have faith?
Second, do you believe yourself to be worthy?
Some people assign scaling systems to these kinds of questions, and if I was a statistician, or something, I would ask you to rate yourself on a scale of 1 – 10 regarding these questions, or some bullshit like that. But I am not a statistician and neither is God.
Because there are no scales and rating systems for being a human being, and that’s the whole point of SexyJesus’s message. The church has done this really mind-warped thing that tries to convince people they are bad and broken and awful, and not deserving of anything, and they pretend God is some sort of abusive parent standing over a vulnerable child screaming, You suck! You ruined everything by being born! I hate you. God is love and all and blah blah blah, but I hate you! So get on your knees and be grateful for the breadcrumbs you have and don’t ask for anything else, you broken piece of shit!
Right? I mean, I’m totally right.
But when you start investigating yourself, you see that SexyJesus, the True Leader, never said anyone wasn’t worthy. He just never said it. People may have said that to him. People came up to him feeling humbled in his presence and feeling stupid and sucky, and they asked him for help and he healed them, but he never said, Yeah, you’re not really worthy, so no. (Except this one time, with a Canaanite woman, and that is a whole other post because that situation got me really confused but I think I understand it now.) Instead, he’s like, Ping, you’re healed. Ping, your faith has healed you. Boom Pow, you too, brother.
And so faith is your humility before God, it is your vulnerability, it is your surrender. Faith is surrender. It is saying, Look, I can’t do this. Can you take over? Because I’m just getting in the way and fucking things up. And then you’re handing the situation over to the One who knows better and can put better opportunities into play. That does not mean you get what you want overnight. It just means you become open to receiving what’s already in front of you, what’s already operating, and you know messages or light or understandings will develop.
You do not have to be rich to have faith, or pretty, or have a good, solid job. You do not have to be physically fit or healthy. You do not have to have a certain color skin. You just have to ask God for something, and surrender to God. Note: this does not mean, Ask in one moment, and then scramble to fix everything in the next because you really don’t believe God is listening or cares or will give it to you. It is more like, I am feeling broken and beaten-down, and recognizing how little I know, or that the things I am doing are not helping me. I am at my wit’s end, and I don’t know where to turn. So God, can you take this burden from me? Can you fix this situation? Can you give me the tools I need that will help me live better in the world? Because I am screwing up left and right.
And then you empty all that confusion and heartache out on the floor, sometimes with tears (which, I think, is prayer at its best), and you’re cleansed and baptized and more open to receiving the glory that is right in front of you which you weren’t seeing because you were trying to do it all on your own. Probably, there’s a person already in your life or who just walked in who delivers the answer, and maybe she’s short and quirky and has pink hair or something, but she tells you the thing you need to hear to set you right, and now you’re finally open enough to receive the message. Or you go back home and realize the thing you were looking for and wanting so bad was kind of stupid, because look at all you already have, at how fortunate you are, and that thing doesn’t even matter anymore. (And then it comes when it comes.) Or you recognize you’ve been operating with your head up your ass and you need to make some changes and have some patience before you could even possibly be ready for the thing you want so much in the world.
The Catholic church has this line in their liturgy when calling upon Jesus before Eucharist, the part where everybody stands in line to eat the wafer/bread thingie: “We are not worthy to receive you.”
And honey, that is just bullshit, I’m going to tell you. Did I offend you? I’m sorry, but I’m only telling you because this statement offends God. God did not make you and say, There, I made you! You suck! Now worship me because I am an egomaniacal bitch and I just like watching you scramble and stuff, and I want to see you suffer and toil because being human is about suffering and toiling.
You were given this life as a tremendous gift, a tremendous awakening and opening and opportunity for growth and awe and splendor and depth and beauty. It’s just hard to understand all that when you’re operating according to the rules of the man-made world. And this world we live in? It is very man-made. And so it takes some work and some practice and a lot of open-mindedness and willingness to grow so you can learn how best to live in your body and know your soul. And when you do that and get there, you help everybody else. You experience the kingdom because you’ve found it inside you, and you know what is what, and you know beauty and love and what a tremendous gift it is to be alive even though being alive requires so much letting go, and then you share that with other people and anyone who listens becomes part of it, and you’re all dancing and sharing under the moon in a glorious garden. That’s the kingdom of heaven. It is not some place you to go when you die.
So what I’m telling you is that yeah, maybe you did some stupid stuff, or maybe you feel like shit a lot of the time, and maybe you don’t feel worthy. Maybe you feel like you’re not good enough. (And if you have been an asshole, you do need to atone and speak up and fix things.) God does not believe all that bad stuff about you, or you wouldn’t be here, sweetcheeks. All God wants is your faith. And when you have faith, and surrender, and you start asking for help in that attitude of surrender, of offering up, of asking God to carry it because you are confused, and you’re genuinely willing to grow, and you’re genuinely open to whatever experience unfolds before you, and you’re humble and recognizing all you can’t do and aware of all you can do, or are, God will just gobble you up and give to you and show you how it really is, which is to heal you in whatever way you need to be healed.
So recognize you don’t have to prepare in order to receive God. You don’t have to do everything right to get an amazing opportunity. God does not run a meritocratic country, baby. God is just, like, oozing with goodness and love and plentifulness and gorgeousness. It is your mind, your own limited worldview, your old damaging patterns, that prevent you from seeing it and knowing it and living into it.
So crack yourself wide open. Get cracked. It’s an amazing fucking thing.