FirstDay Sermon: Walking on Water

Early one morning, after a night of praying on the mountaintop, like Supreme Yogi Masters do, SexyJesus descended the rock to meet his disciples, whose boat was far from land. He walked on the water toward them.

“Dude, that shit’s a ghost!” Levi said. 

Thomas cowered his head under his robe. “No, it can’t be the Lord.” 

The others cried out.

Mary Magdalene and Samantha stayed sleeping in each other’s arms because when they spooned like sisters they had really good dreams, and even the cries of men didn’t wake them. 

“Be brave!” SexyJesus shouted to the men from a distance. “It’s me. Don’t be afraid.”

Peter, Mr. Wild Child, got courageous and stood up and put his hands on his hips. “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to walk on water to meet you.” He smirked. This was going to prove that it was all an apparition, some kind of dream, and SexyJesus was a fraud, and finally abandoned them, as Peter always suspected he would do.

SexyJesus smiled and paused. Now they were getting somewhere. Peter was such a pain in the ass, such a little momma’s boy, but SexyJesus still loved him. “Come,” he said.

Peter had had a rough night, tossing and turning while he slept in the boat. His chest was sweating, he was so full of doubt and fear. His wife at home was angry with him for all this Jesus stuff, and he had, like, only two cents to his name. He was horny and there was no one to have sex with, and there might not be for a long time. And he had put everything on the line to follow this Jesus guy, so now he was like, “Fuck it, if I fucking drown, good, because what the hell is the difference.” Some weird powerful energy was moving inside him, propelling him forward. So he wasn’t even thinking. His head was clear. He just stepped his feet outside the boat and started walking on the water toward Jesus, fast. 

SexyJesus smiled.

But then a bird cawed in the distance, and the wind rustled the waves, and that cool blast hit him in the cheek, and he looked down and saw that his feet were on fucking water, and he was like, “No, wait, shit, what?” And he immediately started to sink.

Down into the water he went. 

“Shit! Help! Jesus! Save me!”

SexyJesus floated over and pulled Peter up. “I got you, I got you,” Jesus said. And Peter felt Jesus’s strong grip around him, and knew the Teacher had him all along, and the Teacher was never going to let him fall. This was all just a fun game, a little test to see how strong he was, to see how strong he could be in faith.

Peter took a deep breath, his clothes soaked, and he looked in his Teacher’s eyes and saw the kindness, the goodness there, the infinity. Even though he knew that was all there, and had seen his Master’s power over and over again, it remained hard to believe. Something this forceful, and also this kind and generous and forgiving? How could it be?

“Why do you doubt me?” SexyJesus said, shaking his head. “Over and over I show you, and you still keep doubting.” He sighed and pulled Peter into the boat.

Everyone stared quietly at the two, speechless, not even able to form one question about how their teacher did what he did. SexyJesus started rifling around in a satchel, looking for food. Mary Magdalene woke and smiled at her lover, blew him a kiss.

The men were breathless, and kept staring at the Teacher as he ate some fish. “You are who you say you are,” they kept whispering.  

SexyJesus rolled his eyes. “Yeah.” He took off his sandals and got comfortable on the floor. “Alright, let’s move. We gotta go heal some people today.” 


It struck me in the shower one day that faith is like walking on water. It is an act so contrary to the rational world, with its rules and systems and management, with its back-up plans and its strategies and its attempt to create order.

I am not criticizing the rational world. We clearly need it. We need structures if we are going to function, yet we have to recognize that the structures that have been created are not God, and were not made by God, and God is God, and the order men have created is not the Higher Order of spirituality.

Whether Peter actually walked on water is no matter. Whether Jesus stood on the water and waited for him is not the point of this whole beautiful story. Because time is not linear anyway, it is concentric, and so all of these stories and events that we think happened a long time ago are happening currently, every single day. And when we heal in one realm, this one, we enact a force and a power that sends that energy to all the other lives we’ve lived, the beings we’re part of, in many other realms, and that’s how you heal the world, and that’s how you create what’s known as the kingdom. But that part is complicated, so let me just get to the juice: miracles happen every day through faith, and this story is simply meant to illustrate that if you are called to something by the Divine Healer, if he asks you to come, or if he asks something from you, and you trust and you go toward him, or toward that thing he’s directing you to do, just keep the faith. Because looking down, and thinking about the rationality of all of it, and worrying about how this doesn’t make sense, is just going to make you lose your way. And he’ll help you out with that part, too, because if he wants something for you, he’s going to help you get there, eventually. But you can limit your suffering, you can limit your fear, you can limit the difficulty of the process if you just keep your head up and keep walking toward, knowing that the Divine Healer meets you on the way, guides you, helps.

So let me keep stressing this part: If you are called to something, and it makes no sense, and you’re picking it apart in your mind because you know what other people would think, or your worried about the practical application of it, or you worry whether you’re strong enough to actually do it, what the Divine Healer says is, simply, Have faith. And what the Divine Healer simply says is, Come. 

Stop justifying, stop analyzing, stop storytelling, stop ego-tripping. Just come. Just walk. The Divine will meet you on that path, on the path you didn’t think was possible to walk on, on a path that has not been created before, and which leaves no clear mark or way. The Water rises to meet your feet when you turn to God, when you commit to God. And your path, the role God has for you, the thing God wants you to do, may look quite different and vaster than what God is asking of anyone else. No matter. This is not about everyone else. This is about you. This is about your relationship with God. This is about your purpose in this lifetime. And the blessing is, not only will he make this happen for you, by testing your own perseverance, by helping you grow stronger in faith, by showing you again and again how he shows up, measures up, holds you, lifts you up from sinking, but he sends all these little angels in human form along the way, to laugh with you, to hold your hand, to help you see, again and again, he has you nice and secure in his hands.


Photo by Samuel Scrimshaw on Unsplash