This post is really not about how to be a romantic, but it’s a catchy title, I think. I am not giving you instructions, here, because romance is all about whether you embrace mystery in the world, and whether you’re able to step out of the box a bit, and if you have a creative bone in your body, and if you’re more interested in experiencing love than worrying about fear or rejection, and also, namely, whether you have an object of affection in mind to devote some love to.
O, my Luve is like a red, red rose
That’s newly sprung in June;
O, my Luve is like the Melody
that’s sweetly played in tune.
That is a famous poem by Robert Burns, a famous British poet from the 18th century.
Friday is Valentine’s Day, and I am a sucker for romance. So let me warn you I have no wisdom to share in this post. None at all. Just story. Just pieces of stories, because this is the kind of thing that makes a person blush, and also, romance may be kind of dead and I am trying to bring it back. And also, there is no rational explanation for romantic love. And that’s why it’s something that cannot really be written about. Writing about it would be like dissecting a joke. Once you have to explain it, you take the piss out of the whole thing.
You just have to be in love, in romance, directing your attention to a subject for love, in order to taste the beauty of the moment, or the beauty of longing. Trying to give a rational explanation to why you feel the way you do about someone is just stupid, and there is often no great explanation.
So perhaps this is why artists get obsessed with romance, because being an artist is not rational, but it is vital. And also romantic love is the thing that makes your art better by a hundredfold. It is like giving a nice warm juicy zing to the creative juices!
So fall in love every day, my dear! I do! There are beautiful people everywhere.
Oh, did you want to know about me when it comes to romance? Well, romance is easy, and I can woo like the best of them, but American men I meet do not often like to be wooed, because maybe they feel I am cutting off their dicks, I don’t know, so mostly I just woo women or homeless people, or gay guys. And those people are very fun to woo, because there are no strings attached, there are no expectations, and the brilliance and the beauty and cuteness of the moment stays intact, and then no one has to worry about feelings getting hurt.
Because when it comes down to actual relationships, I have had this l’il tendency of trying to take control, which does NOT translate well to a love life! I can’t play games, you see! I’m ALL ME, ALL THE TIME! Which means that I have one thought or feeling today and then maybe a different one another day! And I don’t play hard to get because I am really kind and if I’m interested to get to know someone, I’m like, Why wouldn’t I just talk to you now? You’re free, I’m free, there’s a free table at this little coffee joint I’m into! But then I’m not easy to figure out, either, you see! And I have three kids! Wow! Kowabunga! This is not a little dipping of your finger in icing on the cake, this is the whole cake, and then there are more cakes to follow! So you gotta be a lot of man!
The meditation I practice each day is focused on surrender, because that, for me, is the counterintuitive thing to do. Letting go? Huh? You mean I should live life as though it is a situation in which I do not need to take charge and drive the car and buy the groceries and delegate the responsibilities for everyone involved? You mean people don’t want to see a four-year-plan and curriculum of how to be in a relationship and discuss the inner-workings of the human mind while sipping coffee and riding a stationery bike so we can all stay fit and healthy while we undergo this transitional experience of dating?
I may be exaggerating! But maybe not, because I have some good and hilarious stories! Also, I am a kook! And it’s very funny, but perhaps also intimidating! But it is what it is, ya know, and I’m not changing for anybody because I just love being me.
And this post is not about my problems in love! It is about you! Or, rather, it is about romance, or it is about my workshops coming up! Yes, it is about my workshops!
And it is about poetry! And it is about beauty! And it is about how romance does not have to be reserved for only people you want as a potential sex partner, because I often give roses to beautiful women and they just love it because everyone loves to get roses! And I think we should make love with everyone we meet in public, and making love does not require taking your clothes off in the effort to have an orgasm! Sometimes it is giving someone a little gift, or a little poem, with a lipstick kiss on it, something for that person to remember that they are magical, and it is awesome to be a stranger doing that because it makes life more special. And if you’re a man and you give someone a poem with a lipstick kiss on it that you’ve just written while sitting in a cafe, that is awesome that you’re wearing lipstick, and I would only challenge you to wear nail polish, too, because nail polish is delightful!
Okay, wow, we are going off the rails in this post, but it is okay, I want to keep talking about romance!
Romance means: a feeling of excitement or mystery associated with love. / the quality or feeling of mystery, excitement, and remoteness from everyday life.
Do you see that this does not mean that it is tied to having sex with somebody, that it is really about taking a person out of the moment and helping them let go into the mystery and awe and wonder that is life? And isn’t that what an artist is supposed to do? And so if you are an artist, you should be good at romance, automatically, and if you are a romantic, you are unequivocally an artist, and this world is going to be saved by artists, you know! Saved!
So read this poem, because poems are the prayers of romance!
Put out my eyes, and I can see you still;
slam my ears to, and I can hear you yet;
and without any feet can go to you;
and tongueless, I can conjure you at will.
Break off my arms, I shall take hold of you
and grasp you with my heart as with a hand;
arrest my heart, my brain will beat as true;
and if you set this brain of mine afire,
then on my blood I yet will carry you.
That is from Rainer Maria Rilke, who is like my artist hero.
Okay! Workshops! Time to take control!
If you are in the Philadelphia area, and you are single, and you want to have a fun and interesting night for Valentine’s Day rather than masturbating alone on your couch while watching porn or a movie, which a lot of people do but which gets really boring, come to the Singles Salon at Kismet Cowork Space on 448 N. 10th St. in the Spring Arts section of Philadelphia. We will have wine and refreshments and not prizes, because I just can’t get it up for prizes, too, BUT there will be live improv theatre and music and ice-breakers helping people get to know each other in fun and interesting ways and other doo-dads that are creative because salons are creative events for interesting people who do not just want to drink a lot and hook up, but want to live a life that is real.
So anyway, show up or check it out through Eventbrite. Friends get in for $20 and if you read this blog and you mention it when you come, you get in for $20 too.
Now, go make someone’s day!