The problem is that we don’t actually know what will make us happy. We’ve received many of our desires, things we thought would make us happy, changed ourselves in every conceivable way, and still feel largely unsatisfied. The fulfillment of desire is generally not very satisfying in the larger sense. We realize that what we thought we wanted wasn’t it after all. It didn’t give us lasting happiness. A new desire always arises. Besides, there are many things in this world that can temporarily make us feel good, but that are not very good or us and that eventually make us feel bad. –Eric Schiffman, Yoga: The Spirit and Practice of Moving into Stillness
Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it. –Matthew 7:13
What in this life do you want?
Do you know? Do you get beyond the casual thoughts and meanderings of your mind, the temporary satisfactions, and dig deep into the root of you to figure out what it is that will satisfy your soul?
The soul craving is the desire you want to listen to. The soul craving is a want that keeps coming back, all throughout your life, even when you have often suppressed it. The soul craving is the thing that, once attained, will bring you happiness for a good, long time. It is aligned with your purpose in life, and it is aligned with what’s true.
And what is shocking is how few men and women know that, and how few are living in alignment with the deepest desires of their souls.
You know why?
They’re scared. First, they’re scared to do the deep digging to figure this piece out. They’re scared to take the time. Because it’s much easier to listen to false prophets and false leaders than check in to the wisdom within. The wisdom within might direct you a different way. It may not make you abundantly popular or well-liked, at least in the short term. It will require, most likely—and especially if you’ve suppressed the soul’s urgings for a long time—a change in your circumstances, or a new way of thinking that forces a death to the ego you’ve had. You will have to face your flaws, take responsibility for all the ways you were misaligned. And most people don’t want to do that. They like the cute little stories of victimhood or triumph they have told themselves, the stories they’re relying on to get by. Many people are addicted to living in the dark, because if they let the light in, they’re afraid it will blind them and they’ll never be able to see again.
(And they will be able to see, it will just be with new eyes, and many people don’t think they have the bravery for such a transformation.)
I see people who love living in the darkness and it’s really sad. I mean, I know that I don’t know everything, and sometimes someone is in a particular situation that may be good for them in some way, even though they are struggling, and I don’t want to suggest that I know better what they should do. People have to come to things in their own time, and maybe that happens after a lot of shit goes wrong, and God beats you over the head with things until you wake up, and what you decide to do is different than what anyone else would do, but you know in the root of you it is the right choice and you have to honor that. But I do know that suffering can be limited a lot of the time, if you stop being lazy and put the work in to heal. I do know that suffering can be limited if you work on being less resistant to change. If you are tired of being addicted to sadness and things not working out, and instead start to look for opportunities and lessons. If you give yourself time to grieve and experience your feelings so that you can move through difficult passages, rather than convincing yourself that feelings are for sissies.
Knowing what you want, and knowing your soul’s desire, and structuring your life according to that craving is a way you ensure you will be fed, again and again, in this life. It just might require you to walk through a narrow gate, a gate only a few people are walking through. And that is scary, because perhaps you don’t have models of anyone who went through this particular gate, and the story isn’t told already for you in a movie or a corporate strategy plan, and the gate looks rusty or something and there’s this squeaking sound that reminds you of a horror movie.
Be brave, motherfucker. I mean, all good things in life come through being brave. And if something doesn’t work out the way you wanted or expected it to, at least you have the dignity of knowing you were courageous.
My own desire, my own soul craving, has always been to be happy. And with that has been my desire to help women rise up and gain confidence and celebrate what feminine energy brings to the world. And this does not mean I dislike men. Only insecure men with short penises think that a woman like me dislikes men, and I know you are not one of those, so I don’t have to worry about your misperceptions.
Besides, the happiest men are the humble ones who stand in awe of the special women who have cared for and nurtured them, the women that have challenged them to be better.
So what sort of thing is happiness?
Happiness is knowing and accepting truth. It is being in tune and in flow. It is having a connection to the Higher Knowing.
I can tell you that it does not come from outside accolades. It does not come at you from the outside. It is something you build inside you from the root of you upward. It is not something that starts in your mind, and then your mind teaches the rest of your body, because your mind can convince you of all sorts of strange things. True happiness, in my experience, acknowledges the collaboration of the wisdom of your body, and it begins in the root of you, at knowing the basest part of who you are. If you were not happy in the past, it comes from the conscious and gentle practice of making yourself new. And when you commit to such a thing, you begin to build, and build, and build, and you create a foundation and a world within yourself, and for yourself, and then that compilation of resources inside of you makes you a tower of strength that helps other people. When happiness starts at the root of you, and not the top wayward mind of you, you are able to stand tall, and not waver with the wind, and you’re like this thing lit up on the end of the street that people notice, even when getting noticed isn’t the thing you were trying to do.