divorce

A Life Full of Gifts

Almost five years ago, on Christmas Eve, I was baking cookies so my kids could put them on a plate for Santa Claus. The house was full of the smell of chocolate and sugar, but there was also a lot of tension, because my then-husband and I were in the midst of intense marital struggle that was leading to an end point. But it was Christmas, a time of year […]

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A Virgin Is An Independent Woman

A couple of years ago I traveled to Colorado to see the mountains. The Rockies were calling me, like a Mother. I sat at breakfast one morning in Denver and met a couple who was traveling from New York. They had a young daughter. As I spoke to the mother about my journey, my plan to see Denver and Boulder and hike through Estes Park, I noticed her looking at […]

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Embrace Your Sorrow

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about. –Rumi, “The Great Wagon” I have this bad habit of asking God to take away all my pain, particularly my sorrows. I’ve always sort of thought if I could walk through life like a robot, making all the “right […]

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Why Doesn’t Love Last?

I think our deepest need is to love and be loved. And yet so many relationships end, and not well, or people disappoint us. We want to be loved, but we don’t know what that’s supposed to look like. Or we want to love someone else, but they don’t receive it or know how we feel. And then a relationship ends in one way or another, and we’re left bereft, […]

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The Exact Right Place to Be

I had a friend once who told me about her mishaps in dating. Her husband died and she’d been raising her daughter for years on her own. Every once in a while, she’d go out on a date, for practice, she said. Sometimes she’d get involved in a relationship. But after the first two relationships ended badly, she decided she was going to swear off men altogether. “I just refuse […]

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What It Takes

It’s hard to not write what you know, to not write what you’re living. Many of us divorced parents live in our own little worlds, separately from the families and married couples that surround us. Instead of cooking dinner on our kid-free nights, we eat peanut butter straight from the jar and hobble together some nuts or hummus and crackers. We find a group of friends we can talk to […]

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