Humility is the fear of the Lord; its wages are riches and honor and life. –Proverbs 22: 4
Don’t be afraid. Just believe.–SexyJesus, Mark 5:36
One, about my ex-boyfriend. I really loved that guy.
I was in between jobs, you see, and facing divorce and the loss of my house and all that jazz, and I was feeling pretty insecure. But I had this nice guy in my life who took me out to restaurants and bought me nice jewelry and kissed me and hugged me a lot. It was awesome. And I was weighed down by the cares of my world, of course, but he made things better, that was for sure. And once, I met his sister, but when she asked me what I did for a living and I tried to explain having multiple jobs and not quite being settled yet, I sort of stuttered a bit. And later, while lying next to me, my boyfriend asked me why I did that, stuttered. Because he saw me as confident, and it’s what he liked so much about me.
And I said, “Well, you think I should have just one job and stuff….”
And he got annoyed and shook his head. “Who gives a fuck what I think!” he said. And I think he said something else after that which was supportive, but I can’t remember that part, because the first part got me so hot.
I was at this start-up next generation thingie the other night in New York City. The room was full of very cute young men. Boy, were they cute! I mean, it’s hard to get that many cute boys in a room! And they were eating chocolates and strawberries and vegan chocolate chip cookies (of which I didn’t partake, because c’mon, vegan?) and drinking some wine. And I wrote a bunch of them love letters, which I had composed at a coffee shop an hour before. And I asked them all sorts of personal questions that brought about really beautiful answers. And I had a couple of them read poetry from Rupi Kaur. Do you know Rupi Kaur? If not, you should look her up, her poetry is minimalist and amazing.
So after this guy with all the worldly success talked for a while at the front of the room, I found my way next to this woman in the back row and started a conversation. I think her name was Shirley. And I told her all about my book, and about the MOST AMAZING DEAL THAT EVER WAS, which is $150,000 for the first copy and a trip to Paris and dinner at my place and all these other special amenities which is really generous, because as I was writing all that stuff up, I was like, Am I really going to give all of this away? Okay. I’ll be generous.
And she looked at me like I was crazy. She said, “People wouldn’t even pay that much to see Tony Robbins or something. Why would someone pay that to you?”
And I looked her right in the eye with a big smile and told her, “Because I’m a woman.”
And then she got really upset! She like, shook her head a bunch and grabbed her purse and her coat and started to stand up. And I had one love letter left in my hand, addressed to a person who loves secrets, and I said, “Well, did you want this last letter?”
And she was like, “No, no.” And she promptly walked away.
Do you think she thought I was crazy, or a kook or something? I don’t know.
So I gave the letter to this gorgeous woman named Kate who, I suspect, also wants to change the world and overturn 2000+ years of repressive Christianity in a really fun and interesting and unique way.
Because, honey? If you want to dig in and go straight to the root of the problems of the fabric of society, you know how you do it? I’ve been working at this for many months, and I figured it out.
You make women feel good in their bodies.
You make women feel divine.
And when women feel this way, and have this kind of confidence, you heal the world. I’m not kidding. I’m really not. Because when women are happy like this, men are abundantly happy, too! And when women trust each other, they start working together in a place of vitality instead of depression and they start making grand, beautiful plans of community and networking and grassroots beauty that changes everything.
It is so brilliant and wonderful and the answers are all in this sweet little book.
I mean, sweet, little, and AMAZING, and the GREATEST BOOK EVER WRITTEN!
I am just so fortunate that it came through me. I can’t even take the credit, really. I just listened to the call of Jesus and flew to Paris to write it, and sat in cafes for a week, and channeled the motherfucking thing. And here it is, for your viewing pleasure.
I mean, after I meet the special people or person who pays $150,000 to release it, that is. And there are all these other doo-dads that I am so generous to offer, and sometimes I think I give too much away, but you know, it’s the right thing to do because when I use this money to build a foundation I’m going to funnel a ton of money to the poor.
What do you get for the first $150,000, MotherJana? (Because there may be multiple offers and donations to be worked out.)
*The first copy, signed, in print and digital format, with a two-hour personalized meet and greet WITH MOTHERJANA at a location you determine, to discuss the book before it is widely released
*A round-trip flight to Paris WITH MOTHERJANA as your guide to visit all the cafes and locations highlighted in the book, spanning 5-days
*A four-course French meal PREPARED BY MOTHERJANA in her home (with or without video)
*A bouquet of roses
*A month of personalized, daily handwritten letters addressed to you and only you
*A sneak peak of two other MOTHERJANA PUBLICATIONS due out within the next year, with a two-hour coffee discussion (with or without video)
*A personalized, 90-minute coaching session on intimacy and matters of the heart for just you, or for you and a person you love, or as a gift to a person or couple you think would benefit
Oh, and there’s a secret! But only a couple of people know! I think, like, four women know the secret now.
Anyway, hugs. If you want to buy the first copy and get all that other hoopla, just get in touch!
email@example.com / 610 304 9007