Be Realistic, Babe

I’m really tired of people shitting on other people’s dreams.

Have you ever had an experience like that? Hmm?

Where a person you’re talking to is kind of frowning and squinting their eyes and listening to you and saying, “Yeah, that’s not possible.”

I know this guy, and all I can feel when I’m in his presence is this energy as though he’s punching everyone who comes at him. Some inner part of him is always, constantly, saying No, no, no. It’s saying I gotta do all this myself and no one gets me and no one understands me and this world is crap and I gotta fight fight fight, but see, he doesn’t know what he’s fighting for, because I’m not sure he has a value system.

Oh my God, people who have no value system and are just lost inside their heads? Their heads are swirling all the time? What they didn’t get, who didn’t acknowledge them, what they want to be worthy of but don’t embody enough to actually be worthy of? How this world’s just a piece of shit, which is actually how they feel about themselves?

Ew. Like seriously, ew. Where did people like that come from, and how do you even deal with a person like that, other than walking away? How is anyone going to teach a person who’s a victim through and through, who’s not willing to grow up and take ownership of his (or her) actions, who’s not willing to accept help and wisdom from somewhere else, but thinks he needs to keep tackling life on his own, in his little box?

I don’t know. What I’m getting at is that there are a lot of men like this, who live in their heads and push people away because inside they’re telling themselves, I know everything, I am going to figure this all out, stay away from me, I got it covered. 

But they got nothing covered, and they’re a flinging mess, and it’s all appearances, see, and no action.


But they probably think they’re realistic.

When we hear this term “realistic,” it seems to suggest a practice that knocks you down a few pegs. When we say “Be realistic,” underlying in our philosophy is often that big dreams and hopes are meant for children, or other people, and we have to come down into reality, “the real” world,” and all that jazz. And our understanding of “the real world” is this brutal, awful place.

Bleh. Not having it.

The realest, truest thing in this life and in this world, is love. That’s what’s real. And if you do your work and you practice and you peel back the layers of all the shit the world wants to bury on top of you—and there’s a lot of shit!—you start to recognize that love is the underlying pulse of the universe. There is a presence, and you can call it God, or the Divine, or I don’t know what, but this presence simply is, and this presence simply wants to create and recreate and make new and flower abundantly all the fucking time. It’s just how Love works. So people who can’t love, or who block themselves from love, are the Insane Rationalists who are killing the world, see. There were a bunch of Insane Rationalists in the 30s and 40s who actually tried to kill the world. Pick up a history book. See how that went.

Ration, by its very nature, suggests limitation instead of abundance.

And God? She’s all about abundance. It’s only your mind that doesn’t believe it is so.

How do the two things above relate in any way? What kind of roller coaster ride have you led us on today, Ms. Jana?

Well, let’s summarize.

First, we established this:

There are a lot of people in this world who think of themselves as victims, and who live inside their heads and their worries and their very narrow-minded stories of how this world works, and their conception is that the world is a pretty shitty place. So maybe those people eat a lot of nachos or masturbate a lot to feel alive or watch football replays for hours or, I don’t know, live in some other kind of darkness, and refuse to dream. That’s the part to pay attention to. People like this often refuse to dream. Or, if perchance they have a dream, they refuse to take chances and take risks that might change their conditioning, because they’re kind of married to their misery. (And if you’re reading that and thinking of other people you know who do that, take that giant pointer finger and redirect it at yourself, and focus on you for a minute.)

Next, we recognized:

When people refuse to dream, they think they are realists. They think that a refusal to dream and a limited mindset about hope and light is actually what it means to be realistic. 

And lastly, we came to this conclusion, which may be a stretch for you, but I’d like you to humor me with it for a bit:

Love is the only thing that is real, and so “being realistic,” is actually grounding yourself in, and acting always, from a place of love.

Which leads us to the big kicker, the big fucking question:

What is love?

Well shit, now you’re going to make me go there? Haven’t I given you enough already?

I’ll take a swing.

Love is the essence of your very nature, which is peacefulness, resourcefulness, an acknowledgment of what is true. Love is multi-layered, and operates differently depending on the person or people involved, according to what that person or people need. Love is flexibility and adaptability. It is service. It is adjustment, a rising and falling to meet you where you are. Love is creative abundance one day, and some hard-hitting, challenging truths another. Love is compassion and kindness and ingenuity. Love is recognizing beauty in all, and recognizing that beauty is truth and truth beauty, and beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and beauty only exists when that beholder knows love.

Love is your core, but your core may be buried underneath a lot of misconceptions about identity, a lot of wayward focus, a lot of old and new wounds, a lot of rubble. If you work at it, if you have faith and determination to practice a way out of the rubble that is not so habitual, that is not so isolating, that is open-minded and willing to grow, you begin to experience love in all things, in all experiences, and know the underlying essence of the universe on a cellular level, which is love, and does not only exist in your mind.

Phew. That was a mouthful. How did I do?

I am telling you all of this because I learned it myself. I did not grow up with this information. I was not gifted a palace and constant nurturing arms and people eating out of my hands. I learned this through a lot of fucking hardship and pain, through turning my life around (and it’s still turning), through the deep desire to find out what is true. I always just wanted to know what is true. I guess it was a seed planted in me, a big part of my purpose on this earth. And my second deepest desire, which often surmounted the first prematurely, has been to share that. To share wildly, widely. To do as much as I can. To pour out like a fountain. Because I don’t know how to operate any other way, see. I don’t know how to hold back, to restrict, to act from a place of rigidity. It’s just not the way I’m made. I respect those who operate differently. We need all kinds of people in this world, and I’m aware enough to know there are areas I need help in, or ways other people can balance me and teach me things and hold me accountable. I love them for it, in fact. But I’m also going to just continue being me, who learns and grows and explores and digs deep to find the gold that is always always there, and then give that gold to anyone who will listen.

I’m the ultimate realist. The realest, truest thing.




Photo by Aperture Vintage on Unsplash

Categories: love, spirituality and faith, yoga

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

2 replies

  1. You Go Girl!! 😸🎈🎈🎈

    Sent from my iPhone



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