Darling, what does it all mean?
What is LIFE?
Why are you HERE?
I’ll be honest with you.
Last night, I was looking through old messages and reading a couple of these blog posts and I was like, OMG, who is this woman, Jana Rose? I mean, what person is taking time out of their day to sit and read and process this enormous number of words? What is this Jana-Rose-lady appearing like to the everyday, ordinary person?
Is she just some wild puzzle a person can’t figure out?
Or maybe she’s just viewed as crazy. That’s fine. (At least I only have one cat, though. The best cat in the world, mind you. Phew.)
And I was getting kind of worried about the way I am or will continue to be received, because I am not your average cup of tea. I am like a cup of earl gray with some fucking kick, some fucking cayenne pepper and maybe a dash of chocolate, too. And that might not be the first thing you want to drink when you wake up in the morning, or the thing you’re gravitating to when you’re feeling dreary in the afternoon. I’m definitely not boring, though. I definitely won’t make you fall asleep. (Or maybe I will, if your brain hurts.)
But, if you like a kick, and you like dark chocolate, and you also like spoonfuls of sugar and feisty, fiery energy, I’m your girl.
The only thing I can tell you is that this blog is me and not me, too. The stuff I say here might seem scary for some people, or just be too much. (I get that.) It is a channeling, you see, and I’m just sort of witnessing it come through, most of the time. The shit I say here would have been pretty scary for me a while back, maybe 2,5, 10 years ago? Maybe even one year ago. I probably would not have been reading me. I would have gotten confused and run in the other direction.
But the woman I used to be was often dejected, felt powerless, lived in darkness, dreariness, and hopelessness, and looked for a fix through drinking a lot of wine. That woman was good inside, but she had all of this un-accessed potential, and she didn’t believe in herself very much. She thought she had to follow everyone else’s rules, listen to what everyone else was telling her to do. She thought she needed to live a conventional life. She had a spark, but she was not lit up, you see. And now I’m lit up, because that just sort of happened, and because of that, I’ve had to say goodbye to some people I care about. That’s not usually my choice, mind you. It’s theirs. But at the end of the day, I just know me is the person I always wanted when I was depressed or down or looking for comfort, so me is the person I’m going to continue to be.
Man, I used to be so sick. That sucked.
I was walking after lunch with a colleague a couple of years ago who was also a yoga teacher and we were talking about what we thought enlightenment was. And she said, “I don’t want to be enlightened. Enlightened beings are kind of boring. I want to have more fun than that.”
And I told her that I didn’t think enlightened beings were boring, I just thought they had uncovered truth. And truth is the thing I always wanted to uncover, too. Life and meaning has always been, for me, about truth, and truth matters more than the rules or what other people say is hip, and it matters more than being popular and an “influencer” and making a lot of money and having people adore you. And I told her that I think an enlightened person is aware of truth every minute of every day, and an enlightened being is fully present and aware in every interaction and situation. I don’t know why that has to preclude fun.
Damn, I have a lot of frickin’ fun. I’m always laughing. (I cry, too. I feel everything!)
See—and I know you might probably be tired of hearing this, but please humor me for a minute, because I don’t have many people to share this with instead of you, ’cause I’m not a pushy Jesus person, I’m just lit up with light—Jesus is my guide and my hero, above all other worldly figures. And Jesus didn’t have a lot of money, see. And Jesus wasn’t always well-received. People liked watching him. They liked hanging out with him and inviting him to dinner occasionally. (Man, he was probably hilarious. Like, seriously, it’s a shame that the Bible cut out all the humorous bits, but I’m going to write some up and have them performed because I am an amazing actor in addition to other things, hi Bernard if you’re reading.) But mostly people kind of stood back from him and watched him with squinty eyes, trying to figure out what to make of this fellow. A lot of people couldn’t figure out if he was Truth Embodied or if he was just plain crazy. But they gathered ’round, they listened. They had conversations about some of his words. And he had these few followers, but even a bunch of them were kind of a l’il icky, because while they said they loved him and were devoted to him, they turned away from him pretty easily too. They were more worried about what people thought than having faith and actually practicing what the Teacher taught. (Not Mary Magdalene, though, or Mother Mary, who deserve MORE PROPS.) And, obviously, as we know, Jesus was killed. Like, killed. For doing absolutely nothing wrong. For being generous and loving and kind and healing people, constantly. For speaking what is true.
I love people, I tell you, and I meet people every day that I want to hold and love and talk to and all that other stuff. But when push comes to shove, and you choose goodness and light and being yourself over gaining approval from other people, it’s going to shut certain opportunities out of your life, and some people are going to fall away. That can be a real bummer, but it’s par for the course. Truth matters more. Love matters more. Being and honoring your full self matters more. So let the people who fall away fall away.
Others, much better ones, will rise up in their place.
If you would be so kind, please check out upcoming classes and workshops I’m doing for MotherJana Intimacy Coaching in the Philadelphia area, which includes
- Classes founded in yoga and meditation to help you learn to love yourself and love your body so you can love your neighbors!
- Intimacy workshops for couples to help rekindle romance and grow closer together
- A sexy singles salon with live entertainment and snacks and chances to meet people in person because in- person energy is just so much better than online. Don’t you agree?
Do you know Philadelphia is the City of Brotherly Love, and Paris is the City of Love, and I live in Philly and I’m going to Paris next week, and I am all about the love!?
Please come to stuff, it’s going to be great.
Also, I had the privilege and honor of doing this podcast with Miguel Olave, a mental health advocate who I met on Linkedin, who is helping us craft a new understanding of masculinity in the 21st century. Please watch or take a listen!
Omg, all of this stuff I’m giving you is totally FREE! I provide so much value for so little money, it must be the hand of God.
And, of course, here’s a song, because now I’m always giving you a song, and if you don’t read all the blah-blah I write above, at least you can sing to a pretty song! Right? Right!
Bisous. Calins. (Those words are French.)
Tags: Bruce also wrote about being on fire and wanting someone real bad, Bruce is really frickin' smart and talented but did you know he also suffers from depression, Bruce Springsteen also wrote about dancing in the dark and being real lonely, Dancing in the dark you between my arms, How does a guy so talented and powerful and full of energy feel like shit inside, I am teaching college students how to use your words and not cross people's physical boundaries, I love everything French, I love you but I don't know who you are do you think that is possible, Jesus is sexy but is also more than sexy too, mental health, mental illness, MotherJana intimacy coaching, Sometimes our struggles are our gift to the world you see