Some things are just meant for you in this life, and no matter how much you try to turn away and fight The Thing, you’re just going to cause yourself a lot of hassle and frustration because eventually you’re going to have to turn toward toward The Thing, and accept the Truth, and live into your destiny. The thing you have control over is how long you resist, and how much that resistance causes you to suffer. Essentially, your suffering is a decision you make, and ending your own suffering is in your hands, nobody else’s. Stop blaming other people for your problems.
And baby, if Jesus wants you?
He’s gon’ getchu.
I’m sorry to say.
But actually, I’m not sorry.
It’s just the way it is.
So let’s talk a bit about Jesus freaks and let’s talk a bit about this guy, Jesus, and why he holds such sway and why he also causes such resistance for people, and who he really is and stuff. Let’s play. Let’s try this out, see what kind of magic I can whip up to describe the most Quintessential Being Who Ever Lived.
If you’ve already turned away and stopped reading (goodbye! good day!), this is a good sign you really need him. I was there, once, too! Turning away! Damn, I was miserable. It sucked.
So here’s what I want to tell you about my guy.
- Jesus is really powerful.
Did I just use a bullet point?
You bet I did.
I’m getting all Medium.com on your ass. I’m getting all conventional. And now the indenting on this post isn’t going to look pretty, but we’re going to just go along with that part, too. Flow.
So yeah, powerful. We have this tendency to think that power is something owned by bad people, by evil. But every superhero movie will show you there is an equal, yet opposite force of good to battle forces like the Joker and other kinds of demons. So we got Batman. We got Superman. We got Spiderman.
And now we have Jana.
Hee hee. Hi!
I’m just your friendly neighborhood Mary Poppins figure with a lot of tricks up my sleeve. Hanging out with me is so fun! But don’t follow me on Instagram! It’s not cool. (I’m just kidding about that. Follow me, sure. I welcome you to the challenge.)
So, this Guy knows everything and all that’s inside you, you see. That’s power. And no part of you has to be denied. In fact, he wants to help you celebrate our gifts. Yet a lot of us don’t want to show ourselves to anybody. A lot of us are terribly afraid of who we are. But Jesus is just right there, totally aware of all the deepest, darkest parts, and all the amazing goodness, too, and he loves every single piece of you. He wants to help you be whole. He wants you to be happy. But he knows what True Happiness is, and not that shit you’ve been telling yourself makes you happy. You know, the way you convince yourself? The way you’re like, I’m fine, I’m fine, all good here when really you’re dying inside.
Baby, the Lord does not want you dying inside.
The Lord wants to set you free. The Lord wants you lit up and shining on a big table so everyone can admire you and wonder, “What’s he drinking? I’ll get me some a that.”
So here is where I must make a distinction between Jesus, the Master Himself, and the Jesus Falsehats, who are everywhere, who are cult-like, who are drinking Kool-Aid and lying a bit.
Man, now I’m getting long-winded, and this bullet point list set-up is probably not going to work out….
When you put Jesus first, and you do it over and over again, every day, you are going to be taken care of and in the safest, safest of hands. That does not mean the world’s gonna love you. That does not mean your family or friends are going to be like, Booyah, hell yeah! What it means is that you’ve chosen a different kind of life, a life of sorting the bullshit from the reality, and that takes effort and strength and determination. That takes commitment. That takes moving away from worldly concerns into something Vaster and more filled with light, and more encompassing, and more real than you ever knew. It’s humbling.
Jesus meets any person where he or she is, and gives them a l’il taste of samadhi, a little fiery boost to help that sister or brother out, just to get them out of the mess they’re in, but then it’s up to you, the brother or sister, to continue following him or give in to what the wider society says is true.
What I mean by this is, once you have Jesus in your innards, available to you because you’ve invited him in, you need to become a Keeper of Wisdom. A Keeper of Wisdom is discerning. A Keeper of Wisdom isn’t looking to everyone else for answers, assuming that the people who say “the right things” are actually living “the right things.” And so the Keeper of Wisdom has an open heart and an open mind when it comes to God, but is not assuming everyone he meets who uses the word “God” or “Jesus” is actually following God or Jesus.
The Jesus path is scary at times, because it is the path of the individual. It is not, and let me repeat not, the path of groupthink. So any time you’re heading into groupthink, let me remind you you are not actually following God. You’re looking outside yourself, you’re convincing yourself of something untrue so you can fit in. Jesus is the rebel. Pretty much always.
The thing that’s different with the Lord is that he lives in your heart, and he shows you your heart is your guide. Compassion. Empathy. Kindness. He embodies these.
He shows you that every single part of you is loved. He shows you that every single talent of yours can be, and should be, held up. He shows you You do not have to be afraid. He shows you, time and again, I have your back.
And when things aren’t going your way? Who knows if he’s orchestrating that part. It’s just kind of hard to know. But he says, when you turn to him, I’m with you, baby. I’m here hurting right along with you. This is not the time to turn away. This is the time to know how deep we go. Pray hard. All will be revealed.
I mean, you just know what you know. And your knowledge comes not from book-reading, but from the experience that lives and breathes inside of you and makes up who you are. Truth is in your experience. It’s what you live, what has become a part of you. And if all you’ve experienced in the past is pain and destruction and weakness, then that is truth to you. But there is a greater truth that you can step into that requires a leap of faith. There is a point at which you look at your experience and say, You know, this is not good enough. I’m not having this. I’m not buying it anymore. And then you choose something else. That’s your leap, your chance at renewal. Your chance to live and breathe what you believe to be true, even if you haven’t yet experienced it.
And that’s beautiful, honey. When you choose that, I commend you.
2. Jesus is Super Gentle.
One morning, in the midst of a Wisdom retreat, I woke up and felt the presence of Jesus around me. It was gentle. It was the gentlest, gentlest presence I ever felt. And it was so opposite of all the harshness I’d experienced before, throughout so much of my life, both within myself and around me, that I began to cry and bowed down. I had always felt nastiness was being rammed down my throat. I had always felt I wasn’t good enough, or there was something wrong with me. What I realized that morning was Jesus is the Utmost in Gentleness, and that Gentleness is the True. And I also knew that he would never, ever invade me. He would never come into me without asking. Jesus is always there, and has always been there, at the ready and willing and wanting to help, but he waited for me to invite him in. Women don’t always experience love like that, you know. For thousands of years, we’ve been told we don’t know our own wants, we don’t know our own bodies, that we’re property of the state. And Jesus’s Gentle presence showed me otherwise. He showed me he respected me and my decisions. He showed me he would wait outside my doors and barriers until I was ready, because his respect for me was greater than his longing to have me be his.
That was the day I turned to him even more, and promised I would spend my life showing people his gentleness, because that kind of power is a power we, especially women, need to see and feel and know.
Tags: And that's why all my writing is so long and doesn't fit into neat little list-projects, I don't care if this is too much for you God hits you over the head, It doesn't come from me you know, It's amazing, Living like this feels like being the main character in a novel and watching how it all unfolds, SexyJesus, Sometimes God bashes your head with knowledge so you fucking remember when you forget, Sometimes I say to God okay okay I get it and she's like yeah I don't think so here is more, This is bigger than you and me