What’s Your Brand, Fornicator?

Looks like a holy trinity to me!

Oh my God, language!

We need an English teacher up in this joint.

Oh, yeah, I am one! Great. Let’s see what we can do with some vocabulary. Consider this your classroom Word Wall.

Let’s begin.


It’s really not so scary.

Let’s unpack this sucker.

Fornication is defined by one of other dictionaries as “consensual sexual intercourse between unmarried people.” If you grew up Catholic, this word probably gives you a jolt when you see it, a shock of fear and blame and shame. If that’s the case, I’m sorry. Language does that to us. It’s something concrete we can hold on to, something that alludes to meaning but is really just a marker of some sort. And yet because we live in this man-made world, we need language to get us to a space beyond language, into connection and wholeness, which is what we’re all really after, even when we don’t know it. So language is the star to our wandering bark, helping us understand, and then we move into a space of understanding that doesn’t require the language, necessarily, but is in the realm of feelings and emotions. And the feelings and emotions always have greater impact than the language itself.

So if we’re sailors—and who’s not a spiritual sailor?—we’re on this wild and rough and sometimes meek sea, but we need a place to land after much sailing, so we use the North Star (language) to guide us, but once we’re on land, it’s land, and so while we respect that the North Star got us there, we don’t mistake the Star for the Land.



I just want us to be clear on what we use language for. It is the object, not the Source.

So a fornicator is a person who has sex without being married. Which is like, everyone, except for people who are celibate, and except for people who wait until they undergo the man-made law of “marriage” to have sex.

Did SexyJesus say you can’t have sex before marriage in the gospels? Did he say you should worship man-made laws?

Let me look.

Um, no.

Did he say a person should go his or her life without having sex in order to be a spiritual leader, or a faithful person?

Hmm. Can’t find that part either. Markedly absent, this sex information from the Holy Healer.

So let’s see if we can figure out a way forward. Back to fornication.

It is rooted in the Greek fornus, which is “a brick oven of arched or domed shape.” And Latin fornix, which is an “arch or vaulted chamber, vaulted opening, covered way.”

Waa? Huh? How does this all relate?

The proto-Indo-European root to fornicate is guher, which means “to heat, to warm.”

And in botany, fornicated means “arched” or “bending over.”

So let’s put this all together and make a song, whaddya say?

In Ancient Rome, prostitutes waited for customers out of the rain under vaulted ceilings, under a fornix. So the church called people who went to prostitutes “fornicators.”

In this scenario, it’s hard not to put the pieces together and get a sense that a woman’s yoni is the warm oven that heats the man’s you-know-what. Her body cavern is the arched ceiling to his cold, wet, situation. 

And so what this shows us about the adoption of early language, and the assumptions that were made, was that every woman is essentially a prostitute, because any woman with a yoni or a warm vaulted ceiling in her nether regions (which is all women) is sort of waiting for the dude to come in and fill the place up, or something.

With pizza? With a sword?

It was Catholicism that made the link to say that fornication is akin to adultery. Adultery is the term used often in the Bible, and mentioned from SexyJesus, but not this term “fornication.” This is a word the early Catholic church made up. A word that suggests all women are like prostitutes. And why would the Church make up this ridiculous lie? They wanted to use language—think about political smear campaigns!—to discredit women, to make women seem dirty, because once SexyJesus left the show women were gaining a lot of recognition, a lot of respect, and power. Oh shit! Because SexyJesus showed that women were not any less important or capable than men, regardless of their financial or educational status. They were preaching, for Godsakes! And the old male guard did not like this. So what did they do? They branded women as dirty prostitutes who desperately needed your money, and they established a gender dynamic that lasted for centuries so they could keep rolling in power and money and masturbatory fantasies, living in super big houses and stuff like that.

But the story is not over!

From the Old English, fornicate means “to burn.”

So when we think about burning, and branding, they’re based in the same root. A brand, from the Germanic, is a burning, a flaming torch, a sword.

Hey. Did SexyJesus say anything about a sword ever?

Yeah, in The Gospel of Mattsamillion:

Do not assume I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.

Which we can read as:

Do not assume I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a brand. 


SexyJesus, are you an entrepreneur or something? Are you a working woman?

(He’s not answering me on this one.)

Okay, kids, if I haven’t lost you yet, let’s finish this language lesson.

Looking over these root words, let’s create new, vibrant meaning and understanding.

The element for SexyJesus is fire, even though he taps into other elements, too. It is the fire, however, that he insists upon, that he comes back to again and again. John the Baptist uses water, but JB says Jesus baptizes with the Holy Spirit and with fire. (That’s in Matthew if you want to look it up.)

And where do you suppose you can find some of that Godly fire?

Could it be in an oven? An oven with a kind-of arched ceiling?

I mean, there are other places for fires to burn, but we surely know we’ll find a fire in a brick oven. It’s how our pizza gets made, Rome.

So here is my invitation to you, my dear friend who is still reading. Good for you! You are brave!

Consider this:

Burn some wood—palo santo, perhaps—to start off a meditation practice each day. Let it be an act of fornication with God. For God is unmarried, and whether you are or not, sex with an unmarried entity is fornication. Meditation is an opportunity to enter into the holy fire of Love and Juiciness.

Consider that when a woman lets a man in to her yoni, it is an act of baptism by fire. He emerges holier than he was before. He emerges new.

The power of God is everywhere, and it is also in sexual fire, in these ovens of our bodies that can either create or destroy.

Sex is an act of creation or destruction. Think carefully before you go into the flame.


Photo by Stefan C. Asafti on Unsplash

Categories: body, love, spirituality and faith

Tags: , , , ,

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