I met a man recently who was obsessed with attaining his own enlightenment.
He is, and will always be (I suspect), a spiritual vampire.
On the outside is gentleness and calm. It is “inclusivity.” It is “diversity.” It is “open-mind, forward-thought.”
On the inside it is, Give me, give me, give me.
It is, Let me drink from you. Let me eat from you. Let me make you mine.
And then it is,
Once I have what I want, I will move on. For you are my conquest.
Be wary, daughters, of men like that.
You are not a conquest. You are not an object to be desired and fucked.
Figure out who you really are.
This is your Mother speaking.
The man who appears heavenly on the outside, who speaks to you in soft language, who even talks of God, at times, and acts with charm, but who, underneath, is a selfish beast, well-hidden?
Stay away from him.
Let’s talk about what a man who is good to you, and good for you, feels like.
In his presence, you never sense that something is off. There is no discord between your head, your heart, and your yoni. All three are in alignment, and calm. There is no subtle tapping that says, Um?
With the man who is good for you, it is not about how much money he has, or how big his dick is, or whether he has hair on his chest. Oh, please. Get over those stupid things.
The man who is good for you will give you space. He will honor and respect that you know your right from wrong, and he will allow you to own your yes, and own your no, and own your “maybe,” and you have no deep worry about whether he will try to invade you.
He does not try to steal your time or your energy. He asks before taking up your space.
In his presence and out of it, your head is clear. The man who is good for you does not lead to overthinking. Because he is solid.
This has nothing to do with his astrological sign. It has nothing to do with his job, his level of education. He does not strive to be above you, or underneath you, but is content and happy alongside you.
He does not need to be called your lover, or your boyfriend. He is a person, a person who is nice to be with.
But on our life paths, or our spiritual paths, there are plenty of men who say they’re all about Jesus (or heck, Buddha), men who brag about sitting in meditation, men who read a bunch of spiritual or intellectual books and call themselves “good,” call themselves “seekers,” call themselves “thinkers,” but have no idea how to actually truly give of their hearts and serve. Maybe they are men who throw money around like it’s water, calling it generosity.
I’m warning you.
Vampires. Reptiles. Spritualholics.
Don’t get drunk on that.
The wisdom of what’s right for you is already inside of you. She is there—your great serpent, your great knowledge who guides and shares and saves, again and again. We just haven’t been taught to listen to her. Especially women. We’ve been taught to give all our power and wisdom away, to look on the outside for true love, to turn to “elders” or “leaders” or “male gods” to teach us what is what, to set us free, to fix us and fill our holes.
So when you feel in your nether regions like something is off, it is because it is off.
Stop second-guessing you.
Go the right way. Save yourself.
Women can only take so much of being milked before we’re empty. Our mothers did not suffer and toil and die so we can follow suit.
And the Lord, who will always nurture and guide you and love you and give to you, needs you full. He wants you empowered so you can save this fractured world. He is the utmost in humility, the utmost in gentleness, the utmost in what is kind and true. That’s the man worth giving your heart to. That’s the best husband you’ll ever know. He comes first, my dears. Because he is the One most deserving of your trust, who will never let you down, who will always stand by your side and show you what is best for you.
These are the words of Your Mother.