Curving back within myself, I create again and again –Bhagavad Gita
Do I contradict myself? Very well, then, I contradict myself. I am large, I contain multitudes. –Walt Whitman
One issue with spiritual or prophetic writing is that the niggling mind will always find holes, will always look for exceptions. Situations where a statement doesn’t seem to work, or can’t be put into practice because of the reader’s/student’s personal life predicament.
Take heart. There is always a way.
What we need to do in life, as well as in our spiritual journeys, is live from a place of heart, not through the ego-brain. The ego, which subscribes to something called “dualism,” has a tendency to pick, pick, pick away at holistic truth. It gnaws, gnaws, gnaws. It sorts. It categorizes. It divides. Our practice, then, each day, is to sink down into the heart, to rest there instead. And from that much deeper place, our hearts-merged-with-spirit, we can begin to flow with life, to recognize the intentions behind whatever comes to us rather than analyzing each individual word or outward appearance, and receive the glory that is our lives.
When we begin to live this way, we recognize that the Infinite is infinitely creative. She will work with you on every level, no matter where you are, who you are, how you are. If you reach out to her, she is going to meet your hand. She will always meet your hand. She is the grand yogi, the ultimate master of love, because in love, there is always more to give. It is like digging in the earth, recognizing there is always further to go, more and more grace, more and more beauty. That’s why God is God, and not some human—though humans can be the emblems.
So when something happens in your life that puts you off-center, the deepest, most open place inside you will call you to have faith. Not only faith in how the Holy Spirit can work through it to heal you, to make you whole, but also faith in your own understanding of how Life works, of spiritual law, of your place in the order of things.
What I am trying to say is that the Holy Spirit is a weaver. The tapestry is our lives. And the tapestry of your life is part of the tapestry of all lives. So when something seems as though it has been messed up, when there is a kink in the fabric, a knot in the yarn, do not underestimate the power of the divine to make that shit beautiful. Do not think you know how this tapestry is going to look at the end, because things change, people change, and your life is in the hands of something so much bigger than little old you, and yet little old you is a huge part of that beauty. That weaver is taking everything, all the bits and parts of who you are, and she’s weaving it into a greater whole. She can work with anything you send her. Her creativity knows no bounds. There is no end to this weaving. There is no end to the richness of that tapestry.
And one day, perhaps when your spirit moves out of your body, you’ll have the chance to step back and take a look at the awesomeness of that tapestry, the complexity, the layers. Those moments you danced in your living room with a lover. Those nights you painted your nails and listened to sad music, reading your horoscope. That day you drove home and saw the pink sunset, and felt like it was made it just for you. The time you squatted on a hospital room floor to birth your son. The worry you had about paying rent on time while you made peanut-butter toast. That time when you were 9 and you did handstands on the grass after dinner, the moisture of the earth seeping into the palms of your hands.
But you don’t have to wait until your life is over to begin to see those moments as what they are—the human being being. You can take moments each day for just that exercise. You can sit down and breathe and let the reality of who you are, which rests so much deeper than your divided mind, emerge from the depths of you up into consciousness. You can make a commitment to uncovering the deepest parts of yourself, healing from old wounds and living in a more awakened state, beyond fear and doubt and worry. You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to do this perfectly, or be an expert, because no one is. What’s important to know is that the Weaver is with you, and she is moving you through her hands, and there was never a thread she couldn’t work with. All you have to do, as Mary Oliver says, is:
let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Love, true love—the essence of which is kindness and forgiveness and compassion, and lives beyond the surface of things—is never, ever, wrong.