First Day Sermon: Cinderella Changes Her Mind

Here is what I want to say, which is a little dangerous for a single, spiritual woman.

I love men.

I love talking to them, engaging with them, dancing with them. And when a divine opportunity arises, I love kissing them and hugging them and making love to them.

I do not want men to suffer, and I do not think they’re inherently bad, and I want what’s best for them.

So let’s get that out of the way as I move onto this next, very important part.

I love women.

I do not want them to suffer, and I do not think they’re inherently bad, and I want what’s best for them.

And as a woman, I happen to know some of the challenges women face in an intimate way. I know what it’s like to be judged because you’re female. I know what it’s like to be seen as only an object for sexual desire. I know what it’s like to be manipulated and dominated because you are trying to be kind or help, or do good, but people assume that goodness is weak. I know what it’s like to be paid less for services rendered, even when those services are stellar. I know what it’s like to be perceived as having inferior intelligence, or being viewed as inherently dirty, wrong, or undeserving.

I know what it’s like, as a woman, to believe you are not worthy, because that’s what culture and religion have taught for a heck of a long time.

All religions have this issue, but let’s start with my own, which is Christianity. (Not SexyJesus, who doesn’t teach any of these awful things). This problematic belief system stems a lot from Genesis in the Bible, a story passed down for a long time. Our bodies and spirits have let this story seep into our bones and anatomy like poisonous tea leaves. The idea that woman was created as helper, as servant to man. And that she fucks everything up. And so she must be tamed, controlled.

So let’s just take an eraser and edit this scenario. Because what we’re missing is the Scripture of the Mothers, the matriarchal worship that took place for many years before certain men came into power and started hitting us over the head with these misogynist blasphemies.

The New World is about finding alignment with the feminine and the masculine, not just one. We are currently out of balance as a society. And the way to begin to balance ourselves is to allow the feminine energy to rise up. This is where we need to go for now, in order to flow into greater harmony.

Woman and man, both in God’s image. Both beautiful and whole.

But we can’t get there if we keep denying feminine power, which exists in both the male and the female. We can’t get new if we keep assuming women are weak, or sketchy. If we keep locking them up in cages rather than letting them be fully themselves. We have to dig deep to uncover our problematic beliefs, and move forward with better ones, ones based in a foundation of Love and openness.


This brings me to fairytales, which have also sort of fucked us up a bit. Let’s start by rewriting Cinderella. Let’s change her ending.

Because maybe she marries the prince and he seems all great and perfect at first, but then she begins to discover he’s a real asshole. Maybe he’s pretty entitled. Maybe he thinks she ought to serve him rather than following her own dreams. Maybe he tries to make her fit into a narrow little box of his own making, and she starts to get pretty pissed, because she’s had enough of it. That sad childhood, and now this small-minded selfish man.

So maybe, rather than continuing to be a princess, Cinderella decides she’s going to get a job and leave that guy.

Let’s make her a yoga teacher. Or a candlestick maker. Or a baker of chocolate croissants.

Oh Lord, let’s have her do all three.

Maybe Cinderella has enough of the now beer-bellied, slack-jawed prince, and she saves some money and moves out on her own. She lives in a city in a little apartment, a space that is completely hers, and no one is telling her what to do or clean, and no one is leaving his smelly socks on the couch for her to pick up, and she doesn’t have to check in with anyone to decide what night she is going to go to dinner with her friends. Slowly, she finds a community of beautiful people and she starts her own business, and people love hanging out around her and smelling her candles and eating the pastries and doing yoga in a sage-filled room.

And, while challenges come up, she is completely happy, because she learned the real key to happily ever after: she belongs to nobody. She is her own. She did not need a man to bring her happiness, or make her life better. She was never half a person. God made her whole and beautiful, full of potential that could be nourished and brought to light, brought to fullness, blossoming like a rose. Yes, she had a shitty run of things for a while. But now she has broken free and it is so, so awesome.

And if another man (or woman, cause why the hell not) wants to come around and offer her a shoe, she’s going to sit real hard on that to see if it’s right, because it only makes sense to join energies with someone if he/she’s going to honor her as an equal, if he/she believes in her inherent worth, and he/she knows that she doesn’t need another person to take care of her, because she has learned to take care of herself.

Oh, this Cinderella. She’s so wonderful. A real vixen.

Women like her are coming into themselves, are helping to heal so many of the ancient wrongs. It’s beautiful, it’s holy. It’s the new New Word, the New World.

Let’s go with this. Let’s see what happens when we rewrite the stories that have wounded us.

Let’s sit back and enjoy.


“Kimono Slippers”by Jayne ~ Twiggy & Opal is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

Categories: love, singlehood

Tags: , , , ,

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