Love a Woman

There is so much distrust in our culture about women.

Not just among men, some of whom are afraid of women gaining confidence or power. (I don’t know many of them.)

More often, it seems, the distrust for women comes from women themselves.

We, as women, have been taught to fear and distrust ourselves, and those like us. Instead of reaching out and forming bonds, we’re a little sidetracked by jealousy, or wariness. We don’t always know what to make of a woman who is sure of herself.

Maybe some part of us thinks the pie is not big enough for all of us, so that if one woman makes headway, others will get left behind.

Maybe we’re threatened if a woman does or says something we always wanted to say or do.

But this kind of madness—a distrust and distaste for other women—needs to stop.

Because maybe that animosity doesn’t have anything to do with that particular woman at all. Maybe it has something to do with you. Something untapped. Something you don’t want to see. Something you’re afraid to like, because it might cause you to change, or reconfigure the constructs of your mind.

If we want to see any advancements in this life, any betterment of our predicament of violence and division, we need to improve our situation, and we can’t do it if we’re all trying to hold back women.

If you see a woman who can’t get control of her kids, love her.

She is you.

If you see a woman wearing a habit and walking down the street with clunky shoes, love her.

She is you.

If you see a prostitute with a lot of make-up, looking for a way to make money, love her.

She is you.

If you see a woman who walks into a room and looks breathtaking, so that everybody redirects their gaze, love her.

She is you.

Under our clothes, our skin, our histories, our problems, we are made of the same stuff. We can find pieces of ourself in every person we meet.

And so it doesn’t help to go through life pointing fingers, judging, placing people on some hierarchical scale of importance or self-worth.

So many men love women. They love women for the wild, complicated, unpredictable creatures we are. And they don’t stop loving when times get difficult. Their love persists. It’s how poems are written, why movies get made.

But women struggle to love other women, because we struggle to love ourselves. We have internalized a belief system that tells us we’re second-class, or there’s something inherently wrong with us. A system that tells us there’s a limited way to be, and if you don’t fit there, then you’re not worth anything. You shouldn’t even be alive. And so instead of supporting other women who stir something in us, we may notice a tendency to pull away from them, to disengage, to set ourselves apart. To run away.

Please don’t do that.

Women need you. You need women. If only a city could be founded on the concept of sisterly love, and everyone stopped being so afraid of what women could achieve by bonding together, we could change the world for the better.

Isn’t it time?


“Sisters in the first seconds of 2007”by rpb1001 is licensed under CC BY-NC 2.0

Categories: love

Tags: ,

2 replies

  1. A very insightful post.
    “More often, it seems, the distrust for women comes from women themselves” …..
    Very true, women can be their very own worst enemy’s.


  2. I think you are right, we can’t love other women because we can’t love ourselves. To love ourselves we need to see ourselves as good. To see ourselves as good we need, in my opinion, to accept the new self through Jesus Christ


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