Sexy Jesus

I’ve always thought Jesus was pretty handsome, but it wasn’t until recently that I discovered he’s pretty sexy, too.

This guy. He loves pleasure, you know.

Want to wash his hair with expensive perfume? He says, Bring it on!

Want to avoid doing the dishes and sit by his feet instead? He’s like, Please, stay.

Want to drink some wine and eat good food? He says, Come. I made this for you.

Woah! Is it getting hot in here? Because I’m getting excited just thinking about it all.

You know what else is sexy?

Compassion. Generosity. Kindness. Wisdom. Acceptance. Forgiveness.

And you know what’s not?

Being a selfish, controlling asshole.

Unfortunately, a lot of women grow up with this idea that, ‘Tis better to settle with a man who treats you bad, because you don’t deserve much in this life, being born a woman and all.

Jesus never said that.

In fact, he loved women, and treated them as equals. He never suggested that women are inferior. And I’m sure he’s pretty pissed about the way women have been treated in Christian churches over the last 2000 years.

I think, if Jesus were here today, he’d start flipping some tables.

Because here is what I think he would say, if he could get some of these church leaders who shout his name to actually listen:

Women are beautiful and strong.

Women are the cradle of civilization. 

Women are the image of God, equal to men. 

Women’s bodies are the foundation of humanity, a most precious gem.

The job of men is to protect women, not abuse them.

Women are sacred. 

This gospel about women got lost in the shuffle somehow when that group of men got together and figured out what books they thought should be in the New Testament and which ones they were going to trash.

Instead, the Church ended up filling the Good Book with rants from a converted, overwhelmed man who suggested women couldn’t be trusted, that spiritual people shouldn’t have sex, and that women were secondary to men. (Oh, and that slavery was permissible, too.) And we’ve been stuck with this nonsense for centuries.

But Jesus? He didn’t say there was anything wrong with women—or gay people, for that matter!—and he doesn’t say there is anything wrong with sex. Or the human body. He was all about the flesh.

It’s the control-freaks we have to worry about.

I am not the only woman deeply hurt by modern religion’s disavowal of the feminine. I am wounded in my sex and in my soul that God is always presented as male, that the prophets are male, that women’s hard jobs of birthing and creating and mothering and nurturing and holding up the world are simply pushed off to the side.

This deeply held religious belief that women are inferior is simply and vehemently untrue.

And now is the time to heal it, to change it, to make it better.

Women need to rise.

And I’m not talking about boardrooms and doctors’ offices and congress halls. Those are all well and good, but the problem of underestimating women goes deeper. We’ve tried politics. It’s not working so well. We need to go to the source. We need to redefine how we think of God.

Fix that patriarchal mess in religion, and we’ll make some progress on other fronts.

Because the earth is bursting with women’s flavor.

And we all know the earth is a little wild, a bit unruly. You can try, but you can’t tame nature for long. Flowers grow where they want, winds blow, the sky changes color. Animals sing. Rivers rush and flow.

All around us, nature is doing the dance of the Mother, reminding us of our home.

The “fathers” have had the Church long enough, and they haven’t done a very good job with things. It’s time for the Mothers to rise and dance and show what’s what.

And Sexy Jesus is going to like this ride. I think, as a matter of fact, that he is going to have a whole lot of fun.


“on the bed”by machamin is licensed under CC BY-NC 2.0

Categories: spirituality and faith

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